Luke Gruenert
Humanities 1c
Ibo verses Songhai
The political systems of the Ibo and the Songhai were very different because the Ibo was only a tribe, whereas the Songhai was an empire (“Songhai Empire" par. 1). The Songhai Empire was considered one of the largest Empires in all of Africa history (“Songhai Empire” par. 1). It was a culmination of many different clans and villages, and conquered lands. This was very different than the Ibo tribe, as the Ibo tribe contained only one specific people. To put it in perspective, the Ibo would have been a tribe that was conquered by the Songhai Empire. Because of their respective size and approach to power, their relative political systems were very different. “The Songhai village [was] divided into neighborhoods, each of which [elected] a chief. The chiefs [would] form the village council and elect the village chief from among their group. Typically, the chief is of noble descent” (“Songhai” par 3). The Songhai gained higher political position through being elected by the public, and by being of noble decent. In some occasions, family overpowered those who claimed the throne, and overthrow the rulers (“Songhai” par. 1). Although these people drew their own blood at the hands of the throne, the Ibo people seemed to gain a more powerful political position, as well as a higher social status by being successful. Because Okonkwo defeated a great wrestler in a match, he was “[raised] so suddenly from great poverty and misfortune to be one of the lords of the clan” (Achebe 26). Okonkwo, someone with no noble background, became one of the lords of his clan through success and fame, whereas the Songhai rulers inherited the eligibility to rule the throne. The Songhai Empire seemed to act more like a democracy, as they were first elected to the throne by the public. Then, they created a council and elected someone to be the head of that council (“Songhai” par. 3). The ibo were very focused on success and fame to gain a higher standing politically.
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Hey,
ReplyDeleteIn this paragraph it is clear that you know and analysed information.You have really done your research. I think you can make your paragraph even better by focusing more on one point. For example, the first part of the paragraph (when you are talking about the difference between empire and tribe), I think could probably be condensed. Not all of it is relevant to your point. But, I think your idea is really interesting.
-Anna
Luke,
ReplyDeleteYou have a good amount of interesting information and your paragraph reflects your in depth research. Yet next time I think you should choose one or two main pieces of evidence about your tribe to focus on. Sometimes your idea got lost in all the information. Otherwise, I really enjoyed your piece and your perspective on the comparison is intriguing.
Good job!
-Ayluonne
Luke,
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph is very descriptive and clear. Your ideas also develop nicely and no gaps in background information about the Songhai are present. Very well-written essay.
-Gabriel
Luke,
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph is descriptive and really convinced my of your point. i feel you did an excellent job both presenting and explaining your evidence. This is a very nice piece of writing. Bravo
-Walker
Your paragraph was really good, there were well blended quotes, supportive evidence with strong transitions. I thought that you compared the two societies well and strongly stated your evidence. You could have expanded more about the Ibo society but I thought your paragraph was really good. Great Writing!
ReplyDelete-Kathleen
Luke,
ReplyDeleteThis is very well written.
I like the depth and wit that you add to it.
Your descriptions and explanations are great and you created a good argument.
Read over it a few times and maybe add a few more sentences or switch around some stuff but otherwise, don't change anything.
-Nidalia
The analysis for your quotes were well worded and brought clarity to your paragraph. You tended to insert your evidence in groups of two. I think your paragraph would have been stronger if your evidence had been more spaced out. Good paragraph.
ReplyDelete-Joe
Luke,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. You gave very clear and concrete examples, and I was able to understand it completely and thoroughly. Your citations were also very understandable. Great work.
-Morgan
Hey Luke,
ReplyDeleteThe paragraph you have written is both very intriuging and very thorough. The way you compare these two tribes is very clear and the vocab is superb. Overall, great job!
Jonny
Luke,
ReplyDeleteYour paper is obviously well thought through, and it immediately becomes apparent that you have done your research. Your vocabulary also shows that you know what youre talking about.
Nice Job!
-Andreas
A good choice of comparison between political structures. It's very interesting. You've got a lot of evidence and it's clear you know what you're talking about. Really nice!
ReplyDeleteMarissa
I think the intro is a little "wordy" and doesnt sounds exactly professional. Besides that it was interesting and straightforward. awesome dude
ReplyDeleteThis was a very effective essay! The comparison of the political structure of the Ibo to the structure of the Songhai draws contrast against the two nations. You had very good examples and quotes, and always made sure to hold on to the source for the citation. That said, I was a little confused by the "Par. 1" in your citations. If it is for paragraph one in a series, that would make more sense, but alas, I do not have your sources. Also, check to make sure you do not use colloquial language. Great Job!
ReplyDelete-Harry Sherman
Who is Achebe26?
ReplyDelete