Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Axum Empire vs. The Ibo and the Nation of Umoufia

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Harry Sherman

Humanities

March 25, 2010

The Axum Empire vs. The Ibo and the Nation of Umoufia

Although the Axum empire began its downfall in the 6th century B.C.E, the Axum were considerably more technologically and artistically advanced than the Ibo, a tribe which existed in Nigeria centuries after the great Axum empire crumbled (“Eritrea”). While the Ibo lived in villages constructed from mud and played music on small percussion instruments, the Axumites constructed gargantuan intricately carved stone phalluses, cisterns to obtain water all year round, and buildings built with dry stone (Achebe 7, 55, Davidson 220, Butzer 474) . Furthermore, the Axum were more advanced in methods of agriculture, as they constructed terraces in the hillside to assist in growing crops, and developed a written language, all centuries before the Ibo even existed (Davidson 220, “Literacy”). In Chinua Achebe’s “Things Fall Apart”, a novel which documents pre-colonial life in Nigera, the Ibo live in a village that consists of multiple mud-walled compounds with palm-leaf thatch to help protect from the rains (Achebe 7, 55). While this clearly shows the Ibo had graduated from nomadic tendencies to villages that allowed for intellectual and artistic advancement, the mud buildings lack the structural integrity, size, and architectural advancement that is exists with dry stone building. The difficulty to build with dry stone is extreme and requires technical know-how that the Ibo seem to lack. The Axum not only outperform the Ibo in construction of living space, the Axum also excelled in agriculture. According to Chinua Achebe, the Ibo practice slash-and-burn agriculture; he states that at the time of planting “every man and his family began to clear the bush to make new farms. The cut bush was left to dry and then fire was set to it,” (Achebe 32). Although Ibo agriculture provided enough food for the tribe, slash-and-burn relies entirely on flat, clearable land for agriculture. The Axum created terraced farming facilities that provided a greater area of fertile land for harvesting. Basil Davidson, a renowned scholar of Africa says on the subject of the Axumites agriculture practices, “all the surrounding hills were terraced for cultivation,” and “Hundreds of thousands of acres [in the Axum empire] must have been under the most careful cultivation,” (Davidson 220). The Axum even ousted the Ibo on the collection of water and the creation of art. Masters at stone building as they were, even created giant stone phalluses as art and built a stone cistern to catch water (Butzer 476). The final area in which the Axum empire outshines the Ibo, is in writing. Achebe fails to mention any system of writing in “Things Fall Apart”, and even hints at the Ibo only having an oral history (Achebe 54). By 400 B.C.E, the Axum developed a written language to accompany their superior stonemasonry skills and agriculture methods (“Literacy”). Because of the Axumites advancements in agriculture, art, and language, it is clear that the Axum empire, although the empire fell centuries before the Ibo even existed, were a far more advanced civilization.

12 comments:

  1. Hey,
    It is very clear that you have analysed a lot about the Ibo and the Axum Empire. You do a great job showing the reader your thought proses. I also liked how you talked about the multiple categories(writing, art and language)that the Axumites excelled in. But maybe you could have said why the Axum where more advanced than the Ibo.
    -Anna

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  2. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece because of it's outstanding idea development. The way in which you state your different points and present your ideas, to me, seems very logical, and I very much applaud you for that aspect of this analysis. I really do not see this as necessary, but perhaps for the sake of the reader you could have attempted to make the wording a smidgen more clear, but other than that one unnecessary convenience, I thought it was a very well done paper.

    From Luke

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  3. Harry,
    You had so much excellent information! Your description of the Axum Empire was very detailed and covered many aspects of their advancement. Due to the amount of information provided to the reader, your main idea that the Axum Empire was far superior to the Ibo is clearly stated and understood. Perhaps next time try making the sentences a little more clear. Other than that it was a very nice piece.
    -Ayluonne

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  4. You had a very clear thesis which was supported throughout your paragraph. You also did a good job of defining obscure words inside of your paragraph.
    -Joe

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  5. Hey Harry,
    I thought that your paragraph had a lot of great information, it really shows that you spent time on finding information. I did feel like you talked about three different topics and although it helped prove your point, I thought your paragraph could be stronger if you focused on one point. But your paragraph was well worded making it more sophisticated and was organized making it easy to understand. Great job!
    -Kathleen

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  6. Harry,

    Your paragraph has numerous relevant ideas which makes it even more important to avoid tangents and wordiness. The individual parts of the paragraph were written well, but your transitions are a bit choppy and unorganized. You put a little bit too much evidence in the paragraph which can lead you off of your central point that you addressed in the topic sentence. Despite that, your paragraph showed your great understanding and comprehension of Things Fall Apart and your precolonial research.

    Great work!

    -Gabriel

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  7. Harry,
    Your paper had many strong areas, like the amount of information you included while keeping a nicely flowing syntax. Another thing you did well was to keep your thesis in mind, and not do any silly contradictions. this shows that you read over and edited you paper well.

    Nice Job!
    -Andreas

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  8. Hi Harry,
    Nice job, I really enjoyed reading your essay. I think you understand how to cite, organize sentences, and find detailed facts. Pay special caution to your use of "Axum". But otherwise, Great work!

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  9. Harry,
    I thought that this was spectacular work. The way you compared and contrasted these two civilizations worked very well from the eyes of a reader. Nothing really else to say. Once again nice job.
    Jonny

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  10. You covered a great deal of information with good back-up. It's really clear you've done your research. The only thing I have to say is perhaps if you honed in on one or two strong ideas and really did some in-depth explanation on them your paper would be a tad more effective. This is trivial though. Nice work :)

    Marissa

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  11. hmm I dont think my comment worked, ill try again

    ReplyDelete